With just 99 days until the election, it’s understandable that political ads — from both sides — have more or less begun to look the same. That’s why this satirical take on super PAC-style attack ads from cartoonist Mark Fiore made us chuckle. Here’s the transcript:
Can we risk an America run by [INSERT OPPONENT’S NAME]?
He clearly doesn’t understand that America is built on hard work, not [INSERT OPPONENT’S PREVIOUS OCCUPATION].
Sure, now he says he opposes [HOT-BUTTON ISSUE] [NEWS CLIP], but he used to support [HOT-BUTTON ISSUE] [GRAINY FOOTAGE WITH DEAD POLITICIAN].
[OPPONENT’S NAME] is called [NEGATIVE ADJECTIVE] for America, and [APOCALYPTIC NOUN] for our future. He and his organization [ADVERB] attack, because he is an [ADJECTIVE] [SYNONYM FOR LIAR].
He claims to be an [POSITIVE NOUN], but is nothing more than an [ADJECTIVE] [BODY PART] [NEGATIVE NOUN].
Around here, that [DOWN HOME METAPHOR] just don’t [VERB].
Better ask yourself, can America risk [INSERT OPPONENT’S NAME]?
Paid for by [UPLIFTING VERB] Our Future, another super PAC with so much [EXPLETIVE] secret money, it’s [EXPLETIVE] [ADJECTIVE].